Dr. Harvey Hitting the Beach

Transfer from old video blog: So important to find ways to support our mental health. Running is my top stress reducing activity.

Top Life Stressors Know Them and Learn How to Cope

Transfer from old video blog: Life brings stress. No way around it. Learn to listen to your body and find ways to decrease stress before and during it’s occurrence.

Magical Yummy Cure For Lactose Intolerance!

Transfer from old video blog: Health and nutrition affect your mental wellness. Exercising regularly and eating healthy foods are an important part of your Total Wellness. Let me just say, Greek yogurt is one of my most favorite foods! Not only is it delicious, but it can improve your lactose intolerance symptoms!

Green Salad Smoothies, Mmmmm…

Transfer from old video blog: Green Smoothies!!!

Texas Rangers Fever!!!

Transfer from old video blog: The Texas Rangers head to the World Series for the first time in history! Just shown’ a little Texas love.

A Few of My Favorite Things: Dr. Harvey Answers Question From Twitter Friend, “Charmedmomof4”

Transfer from old video blog: In this video I talk about my favorite parts of what I do as well as some challenging aspects.

Meet Bella, My Adorable Therapy Dog In Training…

Transfer from old video blog: A quick hello from me and Bella before I finish getting ready to head out for the night.

Transparency

Transparency is a concept that is often on my mind. I believe myself to be transparent with others and have enjoyed growing into a place in my life where I feel connected, congruent and truthful across all areas of life. Transparency can be scary, but it also helps me to accept myself for all I am and all I have gone through.

If you’re also someone who tries to live in this way, it can be difficult when those in our personal life are private to the point of withholding thoughts, feelings and actions from us–most particularly those that pertain to us. We might find ourselves taking it personally and becoming reactive: confronting, yelling, questioning, ignoring or resolving to pull away our attention and affections.

During my yoga training I read BKS Iyengar’s book Light on Life and found beautifully articulated reminders that transparency is what allows for connection to others. It keeps us from separating ourselves out as different and allows us to be truly accessible to those we love, through our vulnerability. I often refer to a concept of “vulnerable strength” when working with my clients. Vulnerability IS strength–it is often hard, but a conscious decision to trust the universe, let ourselves be seen, and to believe that all things work toward our good–allows us to say “yes” to living life fully and boldly amidst and despite our fears.

As we encounter those that struggle with allowing themselves to be seen in the world, we must remember to extend compassion. For they are on their own path. Cultivating patience with others and holding true to our desire to be seen in all of our perfectly beautiful imperfection may serve as a brave and loving example. And maybe, just maybe, our example might one day open space for others to experiment with opening themselves to more fully engage in the world.

Sexual Taboos & Cultural Norms–Dallas Morning News Article

Fifty Shades of Grey is the hottest book at the Dallas Public Library this week.

Some critics have called the book “mommy porn” because it mostly appeals to married women over 30. It tells the story of a young woman who signs a contract allowing a handsome billionaire to dominate her sexually through bondage and other sadomasochistic practices.

Fifty Shades and its two sequels have sold an astonishing 10 million copies, according to its publisher. But the question is how did a book about a sexual subculture that once was taboo manage to go mainstream?

“We are getting more and more brazen and we keep raising that bar, don’t we?” said Dr. Rebecca Harvey, a clinical psychologist in Dallas.

The Dallas public library and its branches stock 93 copies of Grey, but you won’t find them on the shelves because 473 people are signed up to check it out as soon as someone checks it back in.

“Yes, that is a lot,” said Kris Sweckard, interim library director. Only DVDs of The Artist, winner of this year’s Academy Award for best picture, is more popular with library patrons, he added.

A few libraries across the nation have chosen not to buy the book, but Dallas-area libraries in Plano, Garland, Richardson and Irving own multiple copies and report long waiting lists.

“We tend not to collect that genre [erotica],” said Julie Torstad, Plano library’s technical services manager. “But we do stock best-sellers in high demand.”

Harvey, a psychologist and licensed sex therapist, said the book’s popularity is based on a simple dichotomy that appeals to many women.

Christian Grey, the handsome billionaire, falls in love with Anastasia Steele and becomes obsessed with her. While expressing his love, he also requires her to submit to his sexual tastes, which include bondage and discipline. And she willingly complies with his rough demands.

“On the one hand, the reader gets a story of romantic involvement like the traditional romance novel,” Harvey said. “On the other hand, she gets the erotic visualization of animalistic sexual abandon from a safe distance. Women don’t usually get to tap into that side of themselves.”

Anyone with a library card can check out Fifty Shades of Grey, which Dallas-area public libraries stock in their adult fiction sections. None of the libraries contacted by The Dallas Morning News could produce written policies on how they handle erotica.

Harvey, who is 36, said she fears that “the Twilight saga age group” might read Grey and not be equipped to properly assess the sexual practices described in the book. “On a personal level, I fear it becoming attractive to young people,” she said. “They won’t be at a maturity level to handle it.”

The libraries that don’t carry Grey cite sexual explicitness and lack of literary merit as reasons for not buying it. None of the Dallas-area libraries contacted by The News reported any complaints about the book, which has ridden atop The New York Times’ best-seller list for several weeks.

The Mesquite public library’s website does not list Grey among its available titles, but an information desk librarian said customers have been asking for it. Jeannie Johnson, Mesquite library director, did not return phone calls to answer questions about why she hasn’t purchased it for her patrons.

Anthony Chirico — president of Knopf Doubleday, the book’s publisher — predicted that reader demand will continue to grow.

“As we head into the heart of the summer reading season, sales are likely to continue exceeding even our most optimistic forecasts,” he said.

GetContent

*Note from Dr. Harvey: I am a licensed clinical psychologist who works with individuals and with couples experiencing relational and sexual issues. I am not a licensed sex therapist.

New Challenge For The Day….

Its hard to argue against the fact that mood and energy are contagious. We’ve all experienced how a person’s downtrodden attitude or pissy demeanor can suck the life out of us, or ruin a good time. Conversely, I’m sure we’ve all been fortunate enough to feel ourselves overtaken by someone’s contagious smile or infectious laughter. Positive energy is easier to create than you might think. Just for today try your best to “pay it forward.”. At least 3 times today be generous with your time, words, or services. Use your actions to create joy and happiness for others and watch the positive energy spread. Try it at work and you may witness the entire office mood shift! Keep me posted on how it goes…

-Dr. Harvey

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